Funny story

A few weeks back my kids had found my old iPod in a drawer and were fascinated by its lack of a touchscreen and weird turning wheel button. It was of course dead because it’s been in the desk drawer well over a decade and of course the charger was nowhere in sight. They’ve been determined to find a charger for it, knowing there had to be at least one somewhere in the house.

Fast forward to this week when my son found the missing charger among piles of random crap under his sisters bed.

He couldn’t wait to charge the old iPod and fire it up! Within minutes he was shouting “Mom! What we’re you listening to???” I did a rapid mental scan of what the fuck could possibly be on there. What would mid-2000’s me have listened to that’s so bad? Ice Cube? Maybe, but how bad could that be? Dr. Dre? Snoop Dog? Probably, but wouldn’t they have heard those songs at some point? I was drawing a blank, for all I could recall it was mostly Red Hot Chili Peppers, John Mayer, Ben Folds, Dave Matthews, and other pretty innocent stuff.

He comes running in wearing his headphones and waving the iPod in my face, exclaiming “WHAT IS THIS?!?!?” I took a deep breath and looked at the screen. Holy fuck! I’d totally forgotten about the stuff I used to listen to as a workout playlist. In glowing words, there it was “Suck My Dick” by Lil Kim. Shit. How the hell do I talk my way out of this?

I went with the obvious, “that’s not something we repeat” talk. He gave me the obligatory “yeah, I know, we don’t talk about this with anyone else” but he added “just like how we don’t talk about smoking with anyone else”. The kid is far too smart for his own good sometimes so instead of lying to him I’ve been honest about some things (like weed smoking) but made it clear it’s private and not something we talk about with our grandparents or at school.

A few minutes later I overhear his sister asking him if he’s going to tell anyone and he said no. We’ll see…….